FFJD Guide: The Superbowl. {Sports}

SO most posts about the superbowl will be things like – odds, who to root for, whether or not Ferris Bueller is coming back, which muscle in Madonna’s arms will be most prominent during her 12 and a half minute performance. But on FFJD, we do things a little bit differently.

Today I have united, in sort of an FFJD Superbowl of sorts, with the ladyjunks ofVodkaVendettas.We’re going to be discussing how to make the most out of the Most Important Sunday Evening Display of Social Behavior Besides The Oscars. This is the big leagues, people. Most posts tell you about the actual game. I’m going to talk about other things, (and maybe a little bit about the game.)

After the jump we’ve got a veritable Chex Mix of FFJD: Vodka Vendettas weighs in, we get a healthy recipe from celebrity nutritionist Heather Bauer, a superbowl day outfit, and some tips on meeting guys. I wonder which piece is the shunned pretzel. (I am always, always the bagel crisp.)

Vodka Vendettas on Hot Guys During the Game:

Super Bowl Sunday, the sacrificial lamb of Sunday Fundays, is in three days.  Obvi every smart girl must attend a Super Bowl party so that they can mupload photos of them skinny arming in a jersey to their FB wall timeline, unless they want to sink to Tai pre-Cher makeover status on the social ladder. But what’s a girl to do when very other Bromeo is throwing Cheetos at the TV and yelling out play calls that literally make no sense? A How-To guide is in order. 

Apparently, Super Bowl XLVI does not mean Super Bowl Extra Large Venti Iced coffee, like I originally thought. Those letters are actually called “Roman numerals,” and they’re really numbers. Weird. It means that this is the 46th Super Bowl ever to be played/watched/killed over. The first was played in 1967 in L.A., so while Audrey Hepburn was saying things that would be cliché Facebook quotes forty years later, two football teams got together and started this manly tradition.

This year those two teams are the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. Differentiating between these two lineups is like trying to tell a difference between OPI Don’t Know, Beets Me and Essie Bachelorette Bash. Both teams are dressed like little me the first ten Fourth of July parties I ever attended — tackily clad in Red, White and Blue. Minus the frilly socks. Yay, America!

The best way to actually be obsessed with Super Bowl XLVI, unless you’re “in to” football, is to check out the quarterbacks. If you find Jim from “The Office” sexy, then the Giant’s Eli Manning is the right QB for you. But if you’re like 98.34% of the women in America and John Krasinski isn’t who Siri is scheduling you a date with every Thursday night, then Tom Brady is your guy. And also Gisele Bündchen’s.

Fig. 1, Eli Manning.

Fig. 2, Tom Brady.

What You Should Wear: Elizabeth Fassbender, So Much to Smile About:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What You Should Drink: Heather Bauer, RD, CDN on a Healthy Margarita:

1 oz- Premium Tequila

4 oz Honest Tea Organic Limeade (made with alot less sugar than other mixers {6 cals/fl oz} only adds 25 cals total)

.5 oz Cointreau

Top with a splash of club soda

Garnish with lime

Heather’s Website, Twitter.

Me and Constance on Three Places to Meet Guys:

1. A friend’s Superbowl party.

2. A sports bar, although a disclaimer – 90% of attention will be on the game.

3. Online, during the game, when you can find that artsy hipster who isn’t watching and “conforming” to societies rigid norms.


Email: meredith@theffjd.com
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Categories: Dating Advice, FFJD 101: You're in Class, Uncategorized

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  • Fineman

    now I know what to wear, thanks Dad