Hey there ladyfaces and tushes! It is I, FFJD (Meredith and Constance). Excuse the lack of excessive tweeting and muploading, I was educating the population of Nassau, Bahamas about the skinny arm. Highlights include Nobu (sometimes I wonder if I in fact wrote Sushi With My Girls), low sunscreen (sorry Mom), and wandering around the halls of the Atlantis/pretending I can add to 21.
I’ve always wanted to go to the Atlantis, not because of the beautiful beaches or the overpriced sliced melon in the morning, but rather because as 98% of FFJDers know, it was the scene for probably the most epic film of our time. Holiday in the Sun. I’m not sure where Griffin went, but I bitch-slapped Megan Fox over my NJB and also found lots of stolen antiquities. (Snorkeled.)
But I’m back, and considerably pinker, and here to talk about dating and other conundrum problem queries. Today, in the words of E. Jean, are you “whipsawed by confusion?” Every time I get Elle Magazine and see E. Jean’s advice column, I can’t help but wonder what whipsawed means. I think power tools.
I’ve started seeing this new guy I really like. However, I’ve gone out (and hooked up a few times) with a mutual friend of ours. He doesn’t know, and this other guy wasn’t anything meaningful, but am I supposed to tell him? I don’t want to ruin my chances, and I don’t want him to hear it from someone else, but I also am not sure if he needs to know this…
For this I’ve decided to gauge my own opinion as well as a member of the Manel’s. Let’s see here, Eek! (in the family of Egad! Holy Cow! Holy Laughing Cow!) I think basically if you would be upset if he didn’t tell you in an opposite scenario (he smooched randomly, in a crowded bar over Memorial day with sea breeze and seabreezes and it didn’t matter) then tell him. Otherwise, it just makes it into a bigger deal by telling him. If you slept together, however, I think you ought to let him know.
What say ye, dude?
“Assuming you’ve been safe and careful, your prior sexual and romantic experiences are really none of your new partner’s business unless you want it to be.
If your tryst with this mutual friend was nothing more than a fling, bringing it up prematurely will only make a bigger issue out of it than need be. Additionally, no dude likes knowing his buddy has penetrated his new lady friend.
If (when) it does come up, confidently, without remorse or regret look him in the eye and tell him, “Yeah, we hung out for a bit, but no feelings like the feelings I have for you ever developed. So, luckily for both of us, I moved on. I never brought it up because it wasn’t that big a deal then, or now. Also, what you or I did before we met each other isn’t important. All that’s important now is how we treat each other from here on out. Now, take off your pants.”
If he looks skeptical, feel free to add, “and you’re a much better lay than he was anyhow.”
That will definitely work.”
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