It’s humpday at FFJD HQ. Which means that Zach and Kelsey are making a bracket of froyo vs. cupcakes (ala Cake vs. Pie) and are color coordinating my pens by ballpoint and felt tip. Kelsey and I are also discussing Breitbart, Whitney Port’s insane legs, and whether or not I should ombre my hair (should I?)
We get flooded by your date recaps, burning questions about burning while you pee, spandex engineering innovations, et al. With all that excitement sometimes the more mundane aspects of being 20/30-ish in a metropolitan area fall through the subway grates like stilletos (guys, I’m stuck. No really, I don’t mean figuratively).
And more importantly, we know that you give good kvetch/review/judgyjudgness of a new spot (restaurant, store, Tasti franchise).
That means if you write a cutting Yelp (or telling you amigas about a new great place to stand around in matching flannel shirts and discuss your July 4 plans), send it along. You don’t have to be ‘Elite’ – we still don’t get that anyway (but really sometimes I find myself in a Yelp shame spiral) — and even if you haven’t published it, feel free to send us restaurant reviews and ragespews about your local Pinkberry.
Today’s two soldiers of the Skinny Army – FFJD strategic adviser, Lexie, & FFJD Curly Hair Correspondent Alison focused on an organic joint in the hip Chelsea Market, called The Green Table. Mediocre-at-best?
“Regarding the ambiance that so many gush over — let’s be real, The Green Table is stuffy-cute, it’s in the back of the massive, inorganic, touristy and surreal Chelsea markets, and there’s no A/C, no real fresh air or streetview — which makes me feel like I’m in a cafeteria / hospital / Penn Station (hell). What can I say, I’m a creature of the WILD and need fresh non-recirculated wind.
Our otherwise-lovely waitress had zero sense of what I can only refer to as spacial awareness and kept bumping diners while she leaned to serve. Not a big problem, but interruptive after the 5th consecutive time it happened.“
You can read their full Yelps here:
And send us what’s good (or bad, ugly, super fugs) in your city for FFJDers to note before scheduling their next brunch!!!!!!! at a place with no diet soda.
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