Because you can’t make this drek up.

This is, well, crazy. Sometimes, you just have to fly to a farm to go on a date. What’s a girl got to do around here to get some action? Apparently, plant rows of tomatoes. 

I had a fun, crazy first date. (1)

I actually flew to a farm in Ohio from where I live in Miami. (2)

The way that happened was that my girlfriend and I wanted to fly to Vegas for our birthdays last September, we thought it would be a fun alternative to Miami. (3) 

I invited this boy I liked too, who was a farmer. (4) 

Airline tickets got to be about 1000 to go to vegas and he suggested that we fly to his farm because it ‘is so much fun’. (5) 

 For some reason, my girlfriend and I said, why not. I flew into Cincinnati about three hours earlier than my girlfriend did and me and the boy had time to kill. He suggested we go to a ball game and we got ice cream from a store and ran, hand in hand, to the Reds stadium. (6)

He scalped two tickets, (what is it with great dates and illegal activity?) we grabbed beers and had a great time. On our way out of the stadium, we got into an elevator to go to our car and he said ‘if there’s no one else in this elevator, I’m goign to make out with you!’ I didn’t even get a chance to respond because he went in for the kill. (7)

His spontaneity was actually refreshing. 

After the game, we picked up my friend from the airport and we all drove to the farm about an hour away from the city. We got to the farm and had a great time for the rest of the weekend. 

We’ve been dating ever since. (8)

Email your date story (jdate, first date, match.com, eharmony, someone your grandmother set you up with) to fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

(1) And not as in like crazy ah haha we went and played paintball like in Ten Things I Hate About You and Heath Ledger in his pinnacle of hotness (sigh) kissed me and then I shoved paint in his face. This is actually pretty out there, given that it involves airplane rides and harvesting corn. Not unlike the over the top dates that tonight’s Millionaire Matchmaker will be doing except that the guys are fatter and baldier (new word!) and the girls are dumber and more willing to look at these guys for the rest of their lives. The power of dinero.

(2) Usually it’s the other way around, and most boring midwesterners (everyone who reads this from Ohio is going to Ohate me) fly to Miami for the chance to go to Sushi Samba and stare at people in thongs and maybe go into the Dash Miami store and poop in the dressing room. (THIS HAPPENED.)

(3) Vegaaaaas! I love that movies portray men in Vegas as The Hangover — a Tiger in the bathroom, engaged to a stripper, and Mike Tyson coming and punching you in the face, as I sing “What Do Tigers Eat” whereas women in Vegas just get married. But to Ashton Kutcher, so that’s a good consolation prize to having raging fun. 

(4) It’s unclear how they met, whether it was over rustic organic vegetables in napa or that he was one of three farmers from Penn, for adventure sake the former, but who knows.

(5) Mostly because you get to draw crop circles, or ride on tractors like Zach Galifianakis while singing Kanye West.

(6) This is cute. Did he put your hand in the bottom of his overalls?

(7) This is admirable. Sometimes, it’s hot when a guy in overalls brushes the dirt from picking radishes out of the ground (do they come from the ground?) and the dirt out of his fingernails to plant one on you in an empty elevator in the middle of Ohio. I think you have carrot in your hair.

(8) This is the picture on the wall in their shared farming co-op in Park Slope, where their little lettuce sprouts with love and joy. Good thing she went to Ohio instead of Vegas. Because what happens in Ohio, grows (and flourishes) in Brooklyn.

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